Vietnam Adoptions Shutdown

1st, you ask yourself, what is Traci doing writing her blog so early in the morning? You are right. This is a ridiculous hour to write a blog. However, my daughter has decided in the last few weeks that getting up at 5:45am is a good idea. Its killing me!!! Something about the time before 6 am is only reserved for those insane "morning people". Not me. Anyway, here I am at 6:30 am- on my day off - drinking some serious coffee. Devin is watching her new netflix movie, The Wild.

So, on to a more serious topic... the impending shutdown of adoptions in Vietnam. This was announced last week by the American Embassy due to allegations of some unethical adoptions going on in Vietnam. Some of the allegations include.... baby buying, holding baby's ransom for their hospital bills, and one case of a grandmother giving her grandchild to an orphanage. You can read more about it at: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080428/ap_on_re_as/vietnam_us_adoption

I know this sounds very selfish of me, but I'm so thankful I have already received a referral. At this time, the USCIS is investigating Kyle's adoption to make sure it is ethical and done properly. That is what we are waiting for. Unless they find a problem, our adoption of Kyle should proceed. Of course, that makes you a little anxious... hoping everything is ok.

I have been reading a lot very emotional emails from my adoption chat group and have mixed feelings..... I feel sad about the situation of unethical adoptions and the inevitable shutdown (at least temporarily). I feel for those who are waiting for a referral. I know how BADLY we all want to have a child. I also know I wouldn't want a child that was taken away from its birthmom unethically. I know that I am proceeding with my adoption as I wait for my I-600 approval. If Kyle's investigation takes longer to take extra steps to check his background and the ethics of his adoption... I am willing to wait. I know their is no guarentee. However, I also know that there are a lot of children legitimately in the orphanages who truly need parents. I already feel like Kyle is my son and my daughter always asks when can we bring brother home... She says" Mommy, Kyle is crying for us. He needs us". Isn't that sweet?!

I don't think 800 children adopted from Vietnam is a crazy number. The US adopts 7000-8000 children from China every year - and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I think there are estimates of over 100,000 orphans in China. I have read some statistics on VN of between 500,000 to 2 mil children in orphanages. Check out: http://www.adoptionbuzz.org/adoptionbuzz/vietnam_orphanages/
They have pictures of orphans in there from Phu Tho- its heartbreaking.

I will tell my son about what has happened with the adoption process during the time of his adoption (when he is old enough to understand). I will tell him that his Mommy did everything I could to try to ensure his adoption was as ethical as possible. We used an ethical agency and an ethical facilitator. They investigated his case. That's all I can say. There are no guarentees that nothing happened unethically prior to that.

I know many friends who have given up children for adoption, adopted from birthmoms, foster-adopt, and international adoption. There is always is some sad story behind it all. Most of the time, the birthmom usually doesn't want to give up her child (in the USA) but does for a variety of reasons... drugs, poverty, too many kids, age, etc... Sometimes they are pressured from family, like one of my friends, who gave up her baby as a teenager and was put in a home for unwed mothers. She doesn't regret it... but it was hard at the time. She knows she did the best thing for her daughter and has done foster-adopt now as an adult (which wasn't easy either). Another close friend just adopted a child. However, they could only narrow the dad down to 3 possibilities... one in jail. She had to get an investigator to track down each of the men and have them sign over their possible parental rights to her adopted child. It gets complicated even in the USA!!! Another close friend wanted to foster adopt a black child and was denied twice b/c they wanted a black family rather than a white family. As of this time, she has not adopted any child.

My heart is heavy for those children in orphanages in Vietnam who need parents and may not get them b/c a few greedy people in this world try to take advantage of the weak and poor. Let's all pray that the Vietnamese & American governments can come to an agreement that will allow adoptions to continue and also be done as ethically as possible.

Traci