"You can always adopt"

After reading this, you may never utter the words "Well, you can always adopt" like it was some simple thing to do. I have heard those words so many times when I was going through infertility. I didn't really like it. Although adoption was an option for us, I was not ready to give up my dream of having my own biological children. Also, for many women with infertility problems, many men are unwilling to adopt. Its either their genes or none at all. I know, I've talked to many women in that position. I had to go through ALL the treatments and diagnostics before I was ready to go down the path of adoption. To be honest, I will tell you, getting pregnant and giving birth is WAY EASIER than trying to adopt. We are now very excited to adopt our son from Vietnam, but it hasn't been easy and we are still waiting. Now, all the questions and statements have just changed.

In the beginning, I heard these Q's / statements almost daily...

When are you gonna have kids?
Any kids yet?
If you just relax, you'll get pregnant.
If you just go on vacation, you'll get pregnant.
If you adopt, you'll get pregnant. I have a cousin/ aunt/ friend/ friend of a friend... she adopted and then got pregnant.
It will happen, don't worry.

After our daughter was born, most people said same thing ON A DAILY BASIS...

When are you gonna have another one?
Don't you want more kids?
Are you gonna give Devin a brother or sister?

Those are hard questions to answer both to close friends, family and strangers without opening a can of worms.... How do you answer that when you just had a miscarriage and are struggling with surgeries, daily injections, doctors appts??? So, you answer simply, "We hope so" and leave it at that. Who wants to burst out in tears at work or in the grocery store and tell someone all about their woes?

Now, that we are in the adoption process, we hear...

Why don't you adopt a kid from the US?
Have you got him yet? (That one started literally one month after EVEN deciding we wanted to adopt- we hadn't even started our homestudy. Who do they think I am, Angelina?)
When are you going to get him?
What's taking so long?
And, of course, my favorite, " I bet you'll get pregnant now that you are adopting".

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind answering some questions. Its sometimes hard when the same question is asked 10x a day. I do appreciate it that people care and are concerned. I do appreciate that they are interested. Sometimes, I'm not sure if they want the whole answer (sometimes a lengthy answer) or are they just being polite? Like the question, "How are you?" ... do you really want to know or are you just being polite...?

Ok- my next post, I will go into the actual logistics of international adoption...