My "Other" Job

I have been back to work for 5 weeks now. I must say... I love it. Some people are great at being 24/7 "stay at home" mom's. They like to discuss what they are going to cook for dinner, where to get coupons, what outfit they hand-made for their kids for Halloween, how they hand-made their cards and curtains. I am not one of those people. House work is not my thing. Personally, I'd rather clean stalls or do yardwork. Last week, I went to Lowe's and bought new shrubs and planted them. I loved it. Don't get me wrong. I love being a mother and love my kids. But, outside the "Mom's club" that I am member of, most people who know me think of me as a veterinarian who has kids... not the other way around.

I like being known and respected in my community as a veterinarian. It is a highly sought-after and respected job. As a matter of fact, in national surveys, veterinarian is rated in the top 5 jobs as the most truthful and respected people in the country. I have always wanted to be a veterinarian my entire life. I believe in "love what you do and do what you love." I like going to work. I think it makes me a better mother. It gives me a purpose in life and also a break from the kids. I like the challenge of the job physically and mentally and my relationships with my clients and my patients. I like working outside and not in an office. I like making my own hours and setting my schedule. Yes, it is a challenge to balance being a mother and having a career. However, I hope that my kids will be proud when they talk about me and my accomplishments. I hope they will see that you can be a successful mother and have a successful career at the same time. I hope that they feel that if you want to do something ... if you have a goal... you can be anything you want to be.

Above are some pictures of my workday...some of of me, some of my colleagues, and some of my patients...

A Happy Day

OK- I am better today. No venting. Jack & I had a long talk last night. I feel happier today. He is going to try to help more with the kids and gave me some good ideas to reduce my stress. Kyle is doing well today and the both kids are happy and less whiny today. Yea :). I guess when God realizes you have had enough... he gives you a break just when you need it. Kids went to daycare today and are much happier tonight.

On a good note, I received the Presidential's Citation Alumnae reward at my alma mater, University of Delaware over the weekend. My parents attended the awards ceremony for me and said it was great. Wish I could have gone... but had to work this weekend. You can check it out at....
http://www.udconnection.com/Presidential-Citation-Award-Winners-2008

Post-Adoption Blues

Ok, I will admit, I have not been myself for the last month. I would not go as far as to say I am "depressed". But, I am definately more impatient, irritable and occasionally tearful. As stated in my last post, Kyle is clingy. It is hard on me. There is no other way to put it. My daughter is a drama queen and also very clingy. My husband "helps" with the kids...but ultimately, I do the primary care. They do not cling to him, so he doesn't know how it is. EVERY time I leave the kids...it's drama, drama, drama. Devin is actually the instigator and then Kyle gets upset b/c she is. She needs hugs and kisses a thousand times, and if you deny the "one more time" she will have a melt down. She even does it when I leave her with my husband! Kyle is starting to clue in on when I'm going to leave.. and starts the whining... Jack is not helpful in this area... I really thought he'd help more with the kids since he was so great in Vietnam. But, that hasn't been the case. He thinks helping do the dishes is his contribution to raising two toddlers. Although I'm glad he helps with the dishes, it does not help with the neediness factor.

Kyle can play by himself often but is very clingy at other times. Today, when I was holding him... he was squirming all over like a jackrabbit pulling away from me... so I put him down on the ground. Then, he had a temper-tantrum b/c I put him down and proceeded to throw his head forward in anger and smack his mouth on my chair and got a bloody lip. 2nd major boo-boo today... he already has a band-aid on his head from hitting his head this morning when he fell over (learning how to walk).

I must admit, I am so happy to go to work 3 days a week to get a break. Sometimes I feel like I'm being smothered by the constant neediness. It is hard thing to admit since it has taken me so many years to even have 2 kids... and now I'm complaining. I just didn't think it was going to be this hard. Ok- another kid crying for no reason (my daughter)... so gotta go.... Mama mama mama!!!!

Attachment & Whining

OK...my son is whiner. We have had him a little over 2 months now. On the whole, he has adjusted very well.... he is sleeping through the night fairly well now (some nights better than others). He is well attached to us... there lies the problem. He is VERY attached to me. He whines for me A LOT. He also does this to my daycare lady (both my kids go to a small homecare when I work 3 days a week). I can tell it is wearing her out... it does me too.

He is very clingy. I understand this is somewhat normal in adopted kids. However, we have to be able to put him down. He doesn't do this to my husband, her husband or my daughter... just me & her. I have another daughter who also needs A LOT of attention right now. And, I work and have to do every day activities (go to the bathroom, help my daughter when she goes potty, get her dressed / hair brushed, etc). I do sometimes carry him in my bjorn or backpack.. but it hurts my back to do it all the time. Sometimes he will get over it in a minute or two and move on. Sometimes he has an all out temper- tantrum. He smiles and is happy as soon as I pick him up. I realize he wants me to hold him all the time.. but I can't. My bio daughter did not do this so I don't know quite how to handle it. I realize he needs extra love & attention & we have not had him that long.I am told by other adoptive parents that he is not fully attached yet... but attaching and needs the extra TLC right now. They say this phase will pass and that I just have to get through it... I hope so. If I discipline him at all when he throws a temper tantrum (he does sometimes when I change him or dress him)--- I give him a stern "No"...he gets very hurt and tears well up in his eyes. I guess they lines are fuzzy for me b/c he is adopted... Also, he does not do this all the time but some days it really wears me down. When I give him full attention ... he really is a great kid and lots of fun. But, if I don't give him full attention when he wants it .... he just whines and whines...

Don't get me wrong... I love him with all my heart and he is a fun kid. He is a joy to have around a majority of the time. He is almost walking now - he can walk 5-6 steps at a time and uses the walker like a crazy man. He can say Mama and Dada and Ba (ball). He is still small~ 18 lbs and in 6-12mos clothes. He loves his sister and the wrestle and play together a lot. He is eating all the small finger foods and will eat almost everything I offer them. Well, that's what's going on right now...

New Pictures of Kyle & Devin

Havent' posted in a while... here are some recent photos... will try to post more later today...