Ok, I will admit, I have not been myself for the last month. I would not go as far as to say I am "depressed". But, I am definately more impatient, irritable and occasionally tearful. As stated in my last post, Kyle is clingy. It is hard on me. There is no other way to put it. My daughter is a drama queen and also very clingy. My husband "helps" with the kids...but ultimately, I do the primary care. They do not cling to him, so he doesn't know how it is. EVERY time I leave the kids...it's drama, drama, drama. Devin is actually the instigator and then Kyle gets upset b/c she is. She needs hugs and kisses a thousand times, and if you deny the "one more time" she will have a melt down. She even does it when I leave her with my husband! Kyle is starting to clue in on when I'm going to leave.. and starts the whining... Jack is not helpful in this area... I really thought he'd help more with the kids since he was so great in Vietnam. But, that hasn't been the case. He thinks helping do the dishes is his contribution to raising two toddlers. Although I'm glad he helps with the dishes, it does not help with the neediness factor.
Kyle can play by himself often but is very clingy at other times. Today, when I was holding him... he was squirming all over like a jackrabbit pulling away from me... so I put him down on the ground. Then, he had a temper-tantrum b/c I put him down and proceeded to throw his head forward in anger and smack his mouth on my chair and got a bloody lip. 2nd major boo-boo today... he already has a band-aid on his head from hitting his head this morning when he fell over (learning how to walk).
I must admit, I am so happy to go to work 3 days a week to get a break. Sometimes I feel like I'm being smothered by the constant neediness. It is hard thing to admit since it has taken me so many years to even have 2 kids... and now I'm complaining. I just didn't think it was going to be this hard. Ok- another kid crying for no reason (my daughter)... so gotta go.... Mama mama mama!!!!
3 comments:
Hang in there Traci, it does get better. I'm right there with you, Henry is a champion whiner and fit thrower and Delila has no problem keeping up with his grumpiness. I'm so lucky I have my older kids to help out or I'd go crazy with my 2 littlest.Everyday gets a little easier.
I found your blog while doing a search on Post Adoption Blues.
We just adopted a 4 year old child with special needs about 3 months ago and I feel better knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way.
I can totally relate with what you are saying, it's difficult and tiring but I feel guilty complaining because we have waited 6 years for this miracle.
Today I just feel like crying. I love my child with all my heart but I have had no time alone.
My husband does what he thinks is helping me but most of the time he is working or doing other things.
I wish you strength and best wishes!
I found your blog while doing a search on Post Adoption Blues.
We just adopted a 4 year old child with special needs about 3 months ago.
I can totally relate with what you are saying, it's difficult and tiring but I feel guilty complaining because we have waited 6 years for this miracle.
Today I just feel like crying. I love my child with all my heart but I have had no time alone.
My husband does what he thinks is helping me but most of the time he is working or doing other things.
Please tell me this gets better.
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